The Left 4 Dead 2 announcement at the Microsoft press conference gobsmacked us this morning (didn't they just release Left 4 Dead like last November? What is this, Madden?), but apparently the sneaky folks at Rock Paper Shotgun weren't surprised: they've already seen the game in action. We're hoping to see it this week ourselves, but until then, here's a few juicy zombie tidbits to hold you over: the game takes place in the Southern United States, and the five campaigns will take you on a Southern odyssey from Savannah to New Orleans. There are four new characters also: a rough high school coach who's used to taking charge, a female cable news reporter, a rustic Southern mechanic type, and a Sawyer-style con man. The characters keep the snappy dialogue, and the campaigns will tell an overarching story as you move through them.

"A spit-take is a comedic technique in which someone spits a beverage out of his or her mouth when he or she reacts to a statement during a take. In a spit-take, the reaction is usually one of surprise. Danny Thomas is sometimes credited with popularizing its use in comedy." (Source: Wikipedia, the lazy man's reference material.)

We thought it would be considerate to give you guys the ever-so-brief history of the knee-jerk reaction you're likely about to experience, depending on your level of self-investment in the overseas gaming electronics market, and whether or not you're currently drinking a nice, refreshing beverage. Amidst substantial drops in weekly sales totals for all its competitors, the rarely triumphant Xbox 360 pulled off a spectacular ascent with an increase of over 15,000 units. It performed this feat by riding upon the comfortable, pillowy back of Star Ocean: The Last Hope, a 360 exclusive that sold over 162,000 copies in its release week.

Then again, perhaps news that a Square Enix title featuring vaguely effeminate dudes pushed Japanese sales of its designated system doesn't surprise you to the point of expectoration. Your unflappable, steely nerves keep you from being startled by sales figures, let alone the GIANT SPIDER THAT'S ON YOUR SHOULDER. (Yeah, that probably did the trick.)

- DSi: 41,839 11,644 (21.77%)
- PSP: 29,552 4,704 (13.73%)
- Xbox 360: 25,334 15,501 (157.64%)
- Wii: 16,973 4,043 (19.24%)
- PS3: 16,149 2,507 (13.44%)
- DS Lite: 9,975 4,835 (32.65%)
- PS2: 5,029 303 (5.68%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The expectorating archives

In Raven Software's latest FPS, Singularity, you play as a salesperson for Cingular Wireless, now AT&T Wireless. No, that's not right. Oh yes. You play as a character who, unlike a Cingular salesperson, can manipulate time -- travel through it, use it to make folks age to death ... y'know, the usual.

Anyway, the game's publisher, Activision, has released the first trailer for it and a couple dozen screenshots. The game looks mighty good, but we won't be totally convinced until we confirm players can use time to grow beards quickly. That and play it at E3. The trailer's hanging out just after the break or skip the lame Flash-vid and download it in glorious HD from Big Download.

Many of Liberty City's proxy residents who'd returned to the crime-riddled metropolis following the release of The Lost and Damned were recently perplexed by what appeared to be some random acts of censorship that tagged along with the expansion -- certain European versions of GTA IV suddenly lacked the game's most NSFW elements. Namely, bullet infused corpses no longer spilled excessive pools of blood, and when in the company of a paid escort, camera control was stripped of the player while said escort performed the services she was contracted to execute. (Hooker sex, people. We mean hooker sex.)

This censorship seemed an odd addendum to an expansion which unapologetically brought us a faceful of prong -- as it turns out, the censorship was indeed accidental. At least, that's the claim of Rockstar, who attribute the "error" to the game's latest title update. Why the changes were incorporated into the update in the first place, or why only certain copies of the game were affected is still a mystery, but Rockstar is hoping to release a quick de-censoring patch "within the next few hours."

We've told you about it -- now see the new downloadable chapter of Prince of Persia, "Epilogue." As its title suggests, this new challenge is set after the game's controversial ending. It also sees the Prince gaining a new Sprint ability and his girlfriend, uh, "companion," Elika, given the power to (temporarily) restore patches of the level to their uncorrupted state.

Hitting XBLM and PSN on February 26, this adventure through the Underground Palace -- and confrontation with a new boss, the Shapeshifter -- promises to be more challenging than anything pre-Epilogue. Just watch and you'll see what we mean.

The latest edition of the Bionic Commando podcast includes a Q&A session with Dead Rising creator Keiji Inafune. Strangely, he seems unwilling to divulge many new details about Dead Rising 2, but talks in length about collaborating with a Western developer. The sequel has been farmed out to Canadian-based Blue Castle Games, but Inafune is eager to state that developers from the original game are working very closely with the DR2 team, with conference calls occurring every week.

"[Blue Castle Games] really understood the Japanese flavor that made Dead Rising so unique," says Inafune. "They showed me that they are serious about making a game that keeps that Capcom 'spice' intact, and so far it's going very well." He hopes to make Dead Rising 2 an improvement over the original, as the game will be developed from a global perspective. This level of collaboration between East and West, he says, is unprecedented for Capcom. Perhaps the Resident Evil team should look into trying something similar for its next title?

In terms of actual gameplay details, there's little to glean from the podcast. Inafune does mention that the new character will be much more interesting than Frank West, but doesn't want to give away too much right now. Blue Castle feels that keeping the time management aspect of the original game in the sequel is important, but is planning a much larger variety of mission objectives. Have a listen yourself for more Dead Rising 2 tidbits.

Recently formed Robot Entertainment has answered the question of who's going to support Halo Wars after its launch on March 3: the people who made it. Robot -- created by ex Ensemble Studios staff, including its founder, Tony Good -- will not only provide online support and community management for the Halo universe RTS, but will be working with Microsoft Game Studios to create future content for the game.

Robot will also be working with MGS on the Ensemble-created Age of Empires franchise going forward, with the intent to handle support for current and future titles in the series. In a release issued today, the developer also announced that it has begun work on a new project based on an original IP. Given the various unannounced projects revealed when Ensemble closed its doors, we'd be surprised if this new game turns out to be another RTS.

Blackrock Studio, which came out of nowhere to deliver last year's knockout off-road racer, Pure, has officially released the teaser trailer for its next project. (Someone had leaked it onto YouTube last week.) Good news: It's another racing game. But it's not Pure 2. Not by a mile.

The purposefully obscured footage provides a glimpse at what looks to be an action-filled arcade racer, one that's part Ridge Racer, part GRID and part Midnight Club. We get some very stylized cars, a huge crash and ... an exploding gas station. More on the game is promised for March 11. Consider us thoroughly teased. Hop on over to Big Download for a high-def-ier version of the video ... and tell 'em the 'Stiq sent you.

Yes, we said "GTA IV: The Lost and Damned unboxing video." So what? DLC comes in a box all the time. What part of digital distribution do you have a problem with? Clearly the digital part, since everyone knows you need a box for that. You know -- somewhere to keep the digits.

In this case, the digits are on a piece of paper. You punch the digits on it into Xbox Live and the content downloads. Ergo, digital distribution of downloadable content. Let the video after the break illustrate what we're talking about. And kudos, Rockstar -- you've managed to make DLC a packaged product. Go hug a tree.

By now you're probably tired of reading about slick Hollywood-based video game launch parties attended by C-list celebrities and wannabes who probably game about as much as your grandma. Capcom finally got it right by opening up the Street Fighter IV party to the public. The only problem was that so many people showed up for the event that the fire marshal ended up restricting access, and a lot of people went home without getting their game on.

For those of you who didn't make it to the Geffen Museum Street Fighter Takeover in downtown Los Angeles, we offer up the gallery below from the event. There were tons of console stations where you could play the game, imported versions of the SFIV Japanese arcade game, a Street Fighter Club rumble pit, a "museum" full of Street Fighter products from over the years, Street Fighter arcade cabinets painted by different artists, plenty of people in costumes, and of course, game producer Ono-san.

Here's an interesting fact: In order to earn money through product placements, you actually have to have a pre-arranged deal with the advertised company. You can't just start interjecting their brand name into conversations and wait for them to send you a check. Alas, our meticulous plan for bringing some much-needed economic growth to the Japanese Hardware Sales Institute has collapsed under the weight of its own immeasurable incompetence. We've been forced to take the last measure available to us in order to continue providing this valuable service: Workforce optimization.

We've elected to simplify a startling number of positions here at the Institute, including Stat Trackers, Adders, Subtractors, Analyzers, Percentage Calculators, Red and Green Arrow Breeders, Pun Writers, Pun Editors, and our LOLcat Locator. We even restructured the guy who was in charge of the optimization procedures. We'd like to call this irony, but we can't be sure. We smartsized our Literary Device Examiner.

We also unhired our Witty Remark That Actually Pertains to The Current Week's Sales Figures Guy -- luckily, his services won't be needed, as this week's chart looks alarmingly similar to the last fifty. Just hop into our archives, and choose your favorite wisecrack. Take our word for it -- it'll still be relevant.

- DSi: 49,529 6,084 (10.94%)
- PSP: 34,969 9,166 (20.77%)
- Wii: 20,412 2,866 (12.31%)
- PS3: 16,082 1,323 (7.60%)
- DS Lite: 12,484 2,663 (17.58%)
- Xbox 360: 8,311 204 (2.52%)
- PS2: 5,089 245 (4.59%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The smartsized archives